Because.

I am sober today because I want clarity. I want to wake up tomorrow morning, head clotted with a night of dreams, eager for the day ahead.

Because I’m halfway through my life and there’s still so much to do. The hundreds of books I haven’t read yet; the places I haven’t been to yet; the friends I have yet to meet.

I am sober today because I don’t want to be that woman at the party who is talking, and listening, but not entirely present. I don’t want to be that woman feeling sick in the toilet and having no recollection of the taxi ride home, or why she is waking up fully clothed in her sitting room. I don’t want to be her.

Because I don’t want to be numb. I want to feel it. I want to remember it, all of it, even if I don’t like it. 

Because I like the clear skin and the bright eyes and the bushy tail. I like the presence of mind and the way my body moves, with no hindrance, no anaesthetic. I like the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin, of not feeling the need to escape it.

I am sober today because time is precious and there is so much I want to fill it with. Because life is short and because life is a privilege. 

– Sister Temperance

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